My 10-year-old son doesn’t always answer right away when I ask him a question. Often, I have to repeat myself two or three times before he responds. One morning, though, his reaction caught me off guard.
We were in the car on the way to school. It was Boy Scout day, so he wore the brown uniform shirt with its badges—the scout logo and the Philippine flag. Knowing how cold the air-conditioning can be in classrooms, I noticed he hadn’t brought his school jacket. So I asked, “Gab, are you wearing a sando?” (A sando is a sleeveless undershirt in Filipino.)
In a soft voice, he muttered, “No, I don’t have it.”
I didn’t quite catch his reply, so I asked again: “Are you wearing a sando?” This time he said, a bit louder, “I’m not wearing it.”
I heard him, but I still couldn’t believe it, so I asked a third time, raising my voice: “You’re not wearing a sando?!”
This time he shouted back: “I’m not wearing a sando!”
To check for myself, I slipped my finger between the buttons of his shirt—and there it was. He wasn’t lying. He wasn’t wearing a sando, but a scout t-shirt under his uniform. I fell silent and drove the rest of the way.
Lesson Learned
We are often like 10-year-old boys and girls. We may speak the truth, but if we don’t frame our answers clearly, the message can be misunderstood. Sometimes the fault isn’t in the answer itself, but in not considering the perspective of the one asking.
In this case, my son was only 10. I was the adult, yet it was really my mistake—I failed to listen carefully the first time.
As Christians, we can do better. When people ask about our faith, our task isn’t just to give factual answers. Every question has a context, and behind many questions lies a deeper emotional or spiritual need. If we only answer the question and miss the person, we risk missing the point altogether.
Proverbs reminds us that fools are conceited—they may ask only to mock. But there are truth-seekers out there, genuinely longing for answers. And sometimes, even a fool may reconsider if given a thoughtful, gracious reply.
Answering with Clarity and Grace
When we respond, let’s remember: we’re not just answering a question, we’re engaging a person. That requires clarity, sincerity, and honesty. And even when we don’t know the answer, those qualities can still build trust and connection.
After all, our ultimate goal is not to win an argument but to reach hearts with the truth.
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